just a sniffle
by livin it loud and proud
Summary: Carter seems to have a cold...but is that all it is? Read and review, please!
1. Chapter 1

_Beep, Beep, Beep..._

John Carter lazily reached out to switch off his alarm. _6am!_ He thought. _Man, no one my age is up at this time. _He stumbled into the shower and then had a shave. He got dressed in his warm work clothes as it was a particularly cold day. The winters in Chicago were always cold, but today were particularly chilly. He sneezed about 20 times whilst getting dressed and hoped that he wasn't coming down with something. As a doctor who dealt with sick people every day, he tended to ignore many of the symptoms. It was only logical that he would get a sniffle every once in a while, right?

He arrived at the hospital at 8am ready for his 8.30 shift. He went into the doctors' lounge to get some coffee and see what food was about.

"Hey, Mark" he said to the ER attending whom he had admired for many years.

"Hey Carter. You on?" replied dr Mark Greene who was busy in his locker.

"Not till 8.30" replied Carter through a mouthful of baggle.

"Well, when you're on, find me. We've got a trauma coming in and I'm gonna need your help."

"Will do"

"Thanks. I gotta go" said Mark, and he ran out the door.

Carter sat on the couch for a few minutes and gathered his thoughts for the day ahead. He closed his eyes. He was a wee bit sleepy, which was weird. He'd had a good night's sleep. _Ah well_. He forced himself to get up and ran off to find Mark and the trauma.

"Chuny. Achoo-where's Mark-achoo" he said to a nurse as she walked past.

"Trauma one. Are you OK. You don't look so good"

"I'm fine" and he raced off.

Mark met Carter outside trauma one.

"Carter" he said and took hold of both Carters shoulders. "There was nothing we could do. She died"

"What-achoo-was her name" Carter half choked. He was out of breath because of his cold. And the fact that he had been running so fast.

"Naomi Campbell...Are you alright?"

Carter nodded still catching his breath.

"You don't look too good" Mark put his hand to carter's forehead. "You have a fever. Here" he dragged Carter into the nearest available exam room and took his temperature. "Temp's 101. You're going home" he said to Carter matter-of-factly.

"Mark. I don't wanna. I just came here" Carter moaned, ending in a small sneezing fit.

"No excuses Carter. I think it's just the flu, but it could be worse. Your temperatures really high and you're sneezing all over the place. I don't want you to endanger your life or the patients'"

"OK" Carter hesitated a little and then went into the lounge to get his stuff.


	2. Chapter 2

Mark insisted on taking Carter home and making sure that he got into bed. He told Kerry that he was taking Carter home and would be back in about an hour. He wouldn't let Carter drive, so they left his jeep in the parking lot and took Mark's car. All through the journey Carter moaned that he was fine and he would just have to sweat the fever out, but Mark wasn't buying any of it.

He turned to Carter and said, very seriously "John (he never called him by his first name unless it was serious), you are sick. You will go home and you will rest. I don't want you falling down on the job, or worse. You understand?"

"Oh, alright" said Carter, clearly not happy with arrangement.

When they got to Carter's apartment, Mark stood outside his bedroom door while Carter got changed and got into bed. Mark came in the room, and said he'd be back to check on him later or he would send someone else – no excuses.

Carter looked at the clock next to his bed. It was 11 am, and broad daylight. Carter didn't feel tired, so he went into the lounge room to watch some TV. He flicked through the channels until he landed on a film he loved – Titanic. It was a bit girly but he didn't care. He settled down on the sofa, lying with his feet up and a glass of OJ on the table next to him.

he felt his eyelids begin to droop.


	3. Chapter 3

Carter woke to find the TV had been turned off, and there was a small piece of paper with Carter's name on it. Carter rose to read it. it was from Abby. It read:

_Hey John, Mark's on till midnight so I came to see you. Sorry, guess we missed each other. You were snoring your head off when I came in and you were missing the Titanic sinking! One of your neighbours buzzed me up and I found your spare key under the mat. I hope you're not mad but I was worried about you. Anyway, I hope you get better soon. We all love you, John, and care about you. Call if you need anything._

_Abby_

Carter gave a small smile to himself. He really loved Abby very much, but had to settle for just being her friend. It tore him apart to see her with Luka, but what could he do?

He seetled back down and quickly drifted off again.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys. Thanks for reading! Sorry for my last two chapters being so short, I was suffering for writer's block! :-D Anyways, hopefully you will like this chapter. Reviews much appreciated. xxx

Carter woke up the next morning at 7am feeling refreshed and revitalised. Man, that was a good sleep he thought as he strolled lazily into the kitchen to get some coffee. He felt much better and eager to get back to work, so he picked up the phone to call the ER. "Good morning,. County General Emergency Room. How may I help you?" came Jerry's voice.

Carter chuckled on the other end. "Very polite, Jerry. That's not like you"

"What do you want, Carter?"

Carter chuckled again. "That's more like it. I need to talk to Weaver or Greene.

"Hang on"

A second later, Mark answered the phone. "Carter, you should be in bed. Get off the phone."

"I feel much better. Can I come in?"

"Well..." Mark hesitated a little obviously doubting Csarter's physical condition. "Let me to talk to Kerry. Hamg on"

5 minutes later, Mark came back "She says you do your shift, but the start to feel ill..."

"I know, I know. I'll come back home. Thanks Mark. See you soon"

"Bye"

Carter hung up the phone, feeling he had won the battle and smiled contentedly to himself.

They always worried about him. they still classed him as "the baby of th ER". he was the youngest doctor they had on staff in the ER and , though none of the other doctors could be called old, they still liked to look out for him and make sure he was OK. He chuckled as he went off to get dressed.

An hour later, Carter arrived at the hospital. he put his stuff in his locker and got his lab coat. he went over to the admin desk to see what procedures were on the board. He signed himself up for the arm lac in Exam 3 just as Mark came up behind him.

"Hey Carter" he leaned over him to look at the board. "An arm lac, good" he muttered. "Just keep it small, no traumas"

"OK"

"Hi, I'm Dr Carter, I'll be suturing your hand. "What did you do to it?"

"I cut it with a knife. I'm such a clutz" said the patient.

"Don't worry mam. When I'm finished with you you'll be as good as new"

"Thank you. Call me Gloria"

"OK. I'll just-" Carter suddenly felt light headed. "Sorry. I don't feel well. I'll get someone else to do this"

"Are you OK, doctor?" said Gloria

"Not really" replied Carter, standing up and breathing heavily. But before he could take one step, he collapsed unconscious on the floor.

"Help" screamed Gloria. "My doctor's fainted!"

Dun, dun,dun...

xxx


	5. Chapter 5

Carter lazily opened his eyes. He blinked. He was in a trauma room. He was hooked up to several machines that were all bleeping loudly. There was a nurse standing beside him. It was Chuny. She came over and ruffled his hair.

"Hey Carter. Back with us? I'll go get Mark"

he was in the lounge. Chuny stuck her head round the door.

"hey Mark, Carter's awake.

They rushed back to the trauma room.

"Hey Carter. How you feeling?"

"OK" said Carter sleepily. "What happened?"

"Do you remember anything?"

"I remember being with a patient...her name was Gloria...and then – nothing"

"You fainted due to dehydration"

"So, that's all it is? Dehydration"

"I'm not quite sure. Something doesn't add up. We're gonna do more tests and get back to you. just hang tight okay"

Carter nodded and Mark went away to find Susan.

"Susan, can I see you for a sec"

"Yeah, sure. I was just going to get some coffee. Let's go to the lounge.

The lounge was empty when they got there.

"How's Carter?" said Susan at once.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I think he just fainted due to dehydration, but something doesn't add up. He was unconscious for almost 30minutes which isn't normal for dehydration. Have you noticed that he's been unusually tired lately?"

"Yeah, but I thought that was because he's been working back to back shifts the past few days"

"Still" Mark bit his lip. "He's never been this tired and he's worked long hours before. I'm thinking it could be diabetes"

Susan looked shocked. "Diabetes? Are you sure? He's really young and fit and healthy"

Mark shook his head "I don't know, but he's closer to 30 now than 20 and we all know what a doctor's lifestyle is like"

"Are you gonna tell him you're suspicions?"

"We'll run some more tests first"

They went back to the trauma room.

"Carter, we need to take some blood" said Mark, and Carter obediently proffered his forearm while Susan drew some blood.

"Chuny will move you to an exam room"

"You want me to take that to haematology?" asked Susan

"Yeah, I'll be up in a minute. Tell them I want it checked straight away"

when Mark arrived, Susan had tears in her eyes as she handed him the results.

"Diabetes?" He said without looking at the paper.

"Worse" "Susan gulped. "Look"

Mark's face darkened as he scanned the rest of the page.

He looked at Susan. "We'll tell him together.

They went to the exam room, careful to show no emotion that might frighten Carter.

Mark gave him the news. "John, I'm very sorry to have to tell you this. your blood tested positive for leukaemia".


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days passed by in a blur for Carter. First of all he had to have an operation to remove the cancerous cells in his body then his hours in the ER were cut back because of his treatment and the fact that he was so tired. He could manage 6 hours on a good day, but sometime he didn't make it past 2. In the first few months of his illness, he was given chemo once every two weeks, usually in the morning so he could do a shift in the afternoon. The chemo was hard. When he wasn't puking his guts out, he was busy reassuring his mother, father and grandmother that he was going to be fine. This was true – they had caught the cancer early so he had a good chance of survival.

The cancer had affected him very badly, but not nearly as much as it had affected his mother. She cried herself to sleep every night. His father had said she had been thinking of Bobby a lot lately. Bobby was Carter's younger brother who had died of leukaemia when he was six. Carter thought of him every day.

Carter tried not to think what would happen if the cancer spread. There was so much he hadn't done: he hadn't got married or had a kid, he hadn't gone to Africa like he had always wanted.

"Carter"

"Huh" Susan Lewis' voice brought him back to the present.

"That's us for today" She gave him a small smile. "Go and have a lie down for 10 minutes and then you can start your shift if you still feel up to it"

"Yeah, sure" "thanks" he added quietly

She didn't ask him what he was thinking, as she watched Carter hop of the bed. She already knew. Sadly, she walked away, wiping a single tear from her eye.


	7. Chapter 7

Mark's POV

I have known John Carter for seven years, ever since he was a third year medical student here; and I would never have imagined that something like this would happen to him. I just don't want to believe it. I knew there was some family history of the disease, but Carter's never shown any symptoms remotely linked to leukaemia. He started acting strangely a year ago: messing up diagnoses and making rash decisions. It wasn't like him. We all thought it was because he was stabbed, and it was only natural that he would take time to recover. I should have noticed the signs, for God's sake; I'm a senior attending in the ER! Well...I guess it doesn't matter now anyway. At least he's getting treatment...

Carter had asked me to oversee his treatment, but I said I was too busy. The truth is I was scared. Scared of seeing Carter go through that much pain. Scared of seeing him suffer. He's going to need my support now, and I have to give it to him whether I liken it or not.

I admit I was a coward, but I can't let my feelings interfere with Carter's recovery.

Forgive me Carter, I shouldn't have been scared. I should have seen that you were scarred and comforted you. I'll be a better friend from now on.

Susan's POV

As I watched Carter walk away, I couldn't help but think back to the first day I met him. He was always so kind and generous. He always made me laugh. I though back to the time when it was my birthday and we had champagne on the roof. He had had a great day, and I had had a bad one what with Chloe and everything; but he just made me feel special, and for a few small moments it had felt like we were the only two people in the world... But now everything had changed, he was no longer that young, fresh faced medical student I had once known. I tried to hide my face as I shed a tear for those long ago days.

Pull yourself together Susan; you have to be strong now.

"Chuny, can you see if Carter's ready. He's in the lounge" called Susan from the admin desk.

"Sure" said Chuny sticking her head in the lounge. "Susan, he's fast asleep. Should, I wake him?"

"Let me see" said Susan entering the lounge. She chuckle a little at the sight of Carter lying on the couch. he had taken his shoes off and was snoring softly. "No, just leave him; he's exhausted poor guy."

Chuny left the lounge. Before Susan left, she draped a blanket across Carter's body. "Pleasant dreams, DR Carter" she whispered and left.

AN: in this story, DR Greene does not have a brain tumour and Susan did not leave County.


	8. Chapter 8

2 days later, Mark and Susan could be found in the lounge, talking over Carter's latest results.

"It's bad, Mark" said Susan. "We have to tell him soon"

"I agree" said Mark soberly. "We'll tell him now, together"

They walked out of the lounge and to the exam room where Carter's chemo was being administered.

"What's wrong? Are those my blood test results" said Carter in a worried voice, noticing the piece of paper in Mark's hand.

"Yes" said Mark. "I'm afraid it's bad news. The chemo isn't doing as well as we hoped. The cancer has metastasized... and it's inoperable now. I am very sorry John, but there's nothing we can do now except make you comfortable"

"John" said Susan, gently touching Carter's arm. "We're going to leave you alone for a few minutes to come to terms with this.

Carter nodded, and they left.

* * *

"Make you comfortable" How many times had he heard that, and said it himself? the end result was always death...death in a small hospital room, without your possessions beside you ... or your family near you. What a way to go! Well, I wouldn't happen to him.

* * *

Mark and Susan came back in. "We're gonna have to move upstairs to the Cancer ward now, ok"

"I want to go home" said Carter, almost inaudibly.

"What?" said Susan, already preparing him for transfer.

"I want to go home" he said more clearly. "And I want to sign a DNR"


	9. Chapter 9

"You sure about this John?" asked Susan for about the hundredth time.

Carter had already signed the DNR and was ready for transfer. he rolled his eyes. "Yes, I've already told you I don't to be dependent on machines for the rest of my life. I don't want to die in the hospital – the place where I work. I want to die at home with my family and friends around me. I want to die comfortably in my own bed, in my own room...with all my own possessions. I am not afraid to die. But I need you to understand that this is what I want – and it will be best for all of us in the long run".

Susan didn't see any point in arguing with him. She just said "Well Carter, I fully respect and understand your decision". She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and left.

Mark entered the room.

"Hey Carter. How ya doing?"

"Fine" Carter lied. "Mark, come over here, I want to tell you some things. It's about my funeral"

Mark inwardly groaned, but approached Carter and sat down on a chair next to his bed.

"I don't want it to be too big or fancy. I just want a small ceremony with the staff from here and my parents and grandparents. I want you to organise it. JUST you. Don't let my parents get too involved or they'll just make it a big affair which I'd hate."

Mark nodded and said "I understand. Leave it to me, and I must say I'm very touched that you want me to organise the funeral".

Carter smiled. "One more thing before you go. Make sure my grandmother is alright when I'm gone. Help help her through the troubled period, and make sure she moves on with her life. Also...don't mourn my death for too long, be happy and above all – HAVE FUN!"

Mark nodded again. "You're a brave man John. The ambulance will be here in an hour. get some rest.

He shook Carter's hand, and left.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: This is the last chapter, and it is also the saddest one. I apologise if some readers find it too upsetting.

2 weeks later, John Truman Carter III passed away peacefully in his sleep. He was in his own bed, in his home and his family were with him twenty four hours a day. He had a private health care nurse who was with him every step of the way, and was able to administer drugs to make him more comfortable.

Many of the ER staff had come to see him. Abby, Luka, Jing-mei, Dave, Kerry - they had all come and said their goodbyes. The girls had hugged and kissed him, and cried. The men had shaken his hand, and done that thing men do when they don't want people to know they are sad but actually weep buckets when they think no one is looking. Carter had said his goodbyes to them, but had told them he was not afraid of death and he believed he was going to a better place where he would see his brother, Bobby, again and his grandfather.

Last of all to say their goodbyes were Mark and Susan. Carter had given them both hugs and kissed Susan on the cheek. She had burst into tears and told Carter that she loved him, and that she would miss him so much. Mark had told Carter he would never forget him. They had embraced one final time, and Mark and Susan had left.

That night, it had happened. Carter had passed away at 2.04 am, with his mother holding his hand.

* * *

3 days later, the funeral took place. it was a simple ceremony, just as Carter had requested. It took place in a field, near the Carter family home. Carter's parents had respected his wishes, and let Mark organise the funeral. Carter's parents were to say a few words, and Mark as he been with Carter in the ER from the very beginning.

Carter's father spoke – his mother was too overcome with grief. "My wife and I have now lost v two sons. The death of one son is a tragic load to bear, but this second death is something no family should have to deal with. I take solace in the fact that John was not afraid of death. He loved life and lived every day to its fullest. He had many wonderful friends it the hospital where he worked. He was a loving, caring and loyal son. God bless you, John. We'll love you forever." He rejoined his wife, and held her close to him – rocking her gently back and forth as she sobbed.

Mark got up next. "Hello everyone. My name is Mark Greene, and I have worked with Carter for the past seven years. There's a lot you can say about Carter. He was funny, brave, kind, compassionate, loyal, caring, friendly and loving. He loved what he did, and he always put 100% commitment into his work. I knew him when he was only a medical student, and I watched him grow into an amazing doctor. Farewell John Carter: forever in our hearts".

There was a moment of silence after Mark's speech. He went to sit down next to Kerry. Her eyes were shinning bright with tears.

"Great speech, Mark. Carter would be proud"

"Thank you, Kerry" said Mark, a single tear sliding down his cheek.

_The end_


End file.
